Interruptions.

Aidan is really getting a hang of this growing up thing. He still says some pretty cute stuff. And he still needs help wiping his bum. And he still needs to ask if his boots are on the right feet (Trevor still needs to ask, too). He still loves to cuddle and wear cartoon underwear.

But he's growing up, too.

He's starting to recognize his numbers. He's using a much larger vocabulary. He's signed up for (French Immersion) Kindergarten in the fall. His socks are almost the same size as mine. He now eats broccoli without gagging.

And he's perfected the interruption.

It's a rite of passage in kid-dom. There's some sort of child code of conduct which demands that kids wait until the absolute least opportune time to bug their parents about the most trivial of matters. It's a sliding scale. The more important the conversation they're interrupting, the more trivial the matter they wish to discuss.

For instance- if you're discussing with your girlfriend how she chose swirly hot pink nail tips instead of traditional french the last time she got a manicure, your offspring will want to inform you that Billy fell and may have an arm dangling from his elbow at an odd angle. Reasonable.

If you are having an intense conversation with a friend who's telling you her mom just died, your child will no doubt be swinging from your arm screaming "Can I have a race car cake for my birthday?!? (His birthday is in 9 months)I really want a race car cake! No, Thomas! Or Bob the Builder! Or Bob the Builder on Thomas racing Lightning McQueen!" (This may or may not have happened to me)

Children also like to mix up the attention-getting tactics they use to sabotage the one meaningful adult conversation you get to have all week. As they expertly snip away at the lifelines of communication you hold dear, sanity slips wordlessly away into the dark abyss of parenthood.

As if child-induced interruptions weren't bad enough, now they're going all Mixed Martial Arts on you. Oh no. They aren't happy to stick with the classic triangle choke hold. Now they're mixing in judo throw downs and karate chops. It is literally on like Donkey Kong.

Here's some of my (least)favorite moves:

1. The "I'm pretending I belong in this conversation"
We're starting off with a heavy hitter. This move isn't for the amateur. Usually used by children in the 8-13 year range. First, pretend that you have some interest in the conversation taking place. Then- Blammo! When you've captured the floor you lead right into "So what do you think about Justin Bieber's new haircut?"

2. The "If my mom ignores me any longer, she's going to be indecently exposed."
You know the kid. The one with the death grip on his mom's right leg. Slowly gathering more and more fabric in his grimy little palm. A few more good yanks and we're all going to see more than we've bargained for. Now that's an effective way to get someone's attention. It's also why I wear three belts and a pair of suspenders.

3. The "If I keep repeating the same thing over and over again..."
"Mom! Mother! Mama! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mom!"
Amateur hour. Any kid worth his salt knows that moms are professional noise blockers. I tested it the other day. Aidan can yell "Mom!" in my ear 72,000 times before I even notice. Get along little doggie. This rodeo is for the big boys.

4. The "Mom Whisperer"
Look at you, crafty little, um, you. How did you know? How did you know that yelling doesn't get to me... but the still small voice... ugh. I can't ignore it. Just kidding. I actually can. But kudos for making whispering even more annoying than it already is. Especially if you're like EVERY other little kid I know who has no concept of what a whisper actually is, and you whisper like you belong on Broadway.

5. The "I'm going to give you a piece of crap that I made in two minutes by pouring glue on a paper plate and sticking rice to it so that if you ignore me you'll look like a mean, ungrateful, non-affectionate mother who doesn't appreciate my worthless yet invaluable gift."
Preeetty much self explanatory. Don't you love psychological warfare with children?

Sometimes I feel like my whole life is filled with interruptions, and I don't mean the ones handed to me by my kids.

Why am I so easily distracted?

Why am I so easily turned away from the things that should hold my focus?

Why is it so easy for me to be interrupted from fulfilling my purpose?

Shifting the blame comes naturally for us. We're so busy. There are so many important things to do. So many people vying for our time and attention.

But are we not more focused than that?

Have we lost sight of our priority?

Have we given in to the interruptions?

Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win.
All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.
So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches.
I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27