Green Eggs and Ham Part 2: The Untold Story

One of the best parts of being a mom is having a good excuse to read kids' books. That, and having a good reason for looking like you haven't had a shower in three days and have never met a brush. People will just think "poor thing. Look at her. Those kids must be giving her a run for her money. I bet that baby hasn't let her sleep in three days." People aren't going to let kidless individuals get away with that garbage. What are they going to say? "Oh no, that poor girl has had so much time to herself she didn't even know what to do with it. I'll bet she's so busy doing interesting non-kidcentric activities that she didn't even get a chance to look in a mirror." mmmhmm. That doesn't sound plausible. But a word of advice for the other moms out there- don't take it too far. Especially in the "war wounds/shower of splatter from my kids all over my clothes" department. Here's a little guide on what's acceptable to help you out:

Ketchup and other condiments: Based solely on position and diameter of stain. Is it in a precarious region? You might want to rethink wearing it. If it's smaller than the diameter of a loonie (let's say a quarter in America- I know, tougher standards, but it's our fault for not having a bigger coin), you're generally good to go. Especially if you have an accompanying jacket or sweater to help cover up.

Chocolate- let's be realistic. How often does chocolate make an appearance on clothes? I wouldn't waste chocolate in that manner. Shame on you.

Spit Up- depends. Is it the really stinky kind? You know what I mean. To me, the acceptability of spit up depends on the smell. Unless you can train yourself to not turn your head in the direction of the spit up. If you can't, that my friend is a long day.

Poop- unless you can pass it for chocolate (which you can't. See aforementioned reasons), don't try it. We're lowering the standard. Not completely doing away with it.

Flour- this is my favorite go-to stain remedy. No, it's not one of those "rub cornstarch in it for 17 minutes, spray it with club soda, and soak in 3 parts cold water 1 part milk for 42 minutes" remedies. Its the "everyone loves a mom who bakes her own cookies" remedy. And it works. Everyone looks precious and homey with a spattering of flour on them. "Oh this? I was just baking some delicious homemade cookies for my husband and children and got a little flour on me. Now I'm going to go crochet afghans for orphans in Mexico." Flour also covers a multitude of other stains. Not baking? Burn your favorite baking-scented candle and throw on some flour. No one will ever notice. And, if they do no one will believe them and they'll look like a jerk for pointing it out to you.

Well, that was a lengthy rabbit trail. We were talking about kids' books. I mean, I would probably still read them if I didn't have kids, but I wouldn't get bonus points for being such an involved, caring mother. Who's about to go bake some fresh homemade cookies.

The revival of Seussianism has been coming on strong in our sector. Green Eggs and Ham has been a popular selection in our house lately. Now being the discriminating academic scholar that I am, I couldn't help but wonder what happened to our beloved Sam-I-Am and the not-as-likable unnamed friend who makes the all important redeeming character change at the end of the book.

First off, we need to assign our unnamed friend a moniker for the duration of this little blog entry. Let's go with Miguel.

Miguel- "Green eggs and ham! Green eggs and ham! Oh how I love them, Sam-I-am!"

Sam- "We can stop rhyming now. Nobody's reading this."

Miguel- "Oh, that's fantastic. Rhyming is exhausting!"

Sam- "Tell me about it. That's why I never said your name. I was having a hard time coming up with a lot of words that rhyme with Miguel. So far I only have swell."

Miguel- "Sam, I've been meaning to tell you- thanks so much for sticking by me all these years and never giving up on me. Green eggs and ham are the best things that have ever happened to me!"

Sam- "Well, that's a little extreme, but you're welcome."

Miguel- "I mean, my life has been changed since green eggs and ham, and it's all because of you! So far I've gotten 43 of my friends to try green eggs and ham, and I've started a fan club. Oh, and I made this snazzy pamphlet. Everyone loves pamphlets."

Sam- "There's a picture of you eating green eggs and ham on the front of it. What, are you just taking over my gig now?"

Miguel- "But I love green eggs and ham. You should know. You're the one who sold me on it."

Sam- "Well, yeah. But you're not supposed to like it more than I do. And you're not supposed to go get more people to like it. You're showing me up. I liked it first. I'm the green eggs and ham guy. Not you!"

Miguel- "Hey, there's enough green eggs and ham for all of us to love."

Sam- "It's not fair... I've liked green eggs and ham forever. It's my thing! I've been slaving away convincing people to try it. Do you know how much work it is to coordinate foxes, mice, goats, boats, boxes and trains? Not easy! Now you're getting all the glory? That's not the way it's supposed to work. You go get your own thing to love. Leave my green eggs and ham alone!"

And there it is. Jealousy. Certain people I know love knowing that they "discovered" certain bands. A part of you wants everyone else to realize how awesome this new band is, but the second that happens, you're frustrated that it isn't just YOUR band anymore. "Ugh. I found them first. I've liked them since they were just playing in the bass player's mom's garage. Go find your own band to be a fan of."

Reminds me of a passage in the Bible- in Luke 15, Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. We know the story well. The son grabs his inheritance, goes off and parties like a rock star, and comes back wallowing in filth and repentance for his waywardness. His father doesn't punish him, but forgives him and showers love on him.

This is a fantastic portrait of grace: the same grace that God offers each of us. Now zoom in on the brother in the background. The faithful brother. The one who continued working for his father in his brother's absence. He probably had to pick up the slack from his brother being gone. Now he had to clear the table AND wash the dishes.

Dude's not exactly thrilled that this is going down. Dad's throwing a party for the lost son, but Mr. Faithful isn't getting the reward he thinks he deserves.

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on.
`Your brother is back,' he was told, `and your father has killed the calf we were fattening and has prepared a great feast. We are celebrating because of his safe return.'
"The older brother was angry and wouldn't go in. His father came out and begged him,
but he replied, `All these years I've worked hard for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends.
Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the finest calf we have.'
"His father said to him, `Look, dear son, you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours.
We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!' "
Luke 15:25-32

Mr. Faithful has a bum rap, but he had to deal with some pretty hard stuff. I can't imagine that I would have done any better. He's been working away, being faithful, and here his punk brother is getting a party thrown for him. It's not fair.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? Been a Christian for more years than you can count? Put in your pew time? Now this friend that you've been working on has FINALLY accepted Jesus, and they are on fire. How can God be using THEM? They can't even rap the books of the Bible. I bet they don't even know where Jude is.

And the pastor loves them! Keeps saying what an asset they're going to be to the church. Hello?!? See me? I'm all asset! Right over here! Ugh. Sometimes I wish I didn't even tell them about God.

Why is it so hard to see people being used by God? Being blessed by God? Losing the "God's Favorite" popularity contest? Maybe because we're using the wrong tally sheet.

1. We all rely on the grace of God. Don't forget where you've come from. We have all had our turns as the prodigal son.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

2. It's all based on relationship.

"His father said to him, `Look, dear son, you and I are very close, and everything I have is yours.'" Luke 15:31

The father reminds the faithful son of their relationship. Remember the advantages you've had to being close to the Father. You've had years to cultivate a relationship with the One who loves you with an everlasting love. Confidence in your own relationship with God will foster a desire for others to have a similar relationship with Him as well. He loves you so much. He wants to reveal more of Himself to you. He wants to help your roots grown down deep in His love. Don't settle for a Sunday morning surface-deep relationship with Him. Dive in!! You won't be sorry.

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