Kids Say The Most Spiritually Profound Things

Sometimes I think I should carry around a notebook to jot down all of the crazy things my four year old says. Sometimes he sounds like Confucius, other times he just sounds confused. But it's almost always hilarious. Here's a few samplings:

"I'm going to go scare some people with my awesome shoes."

Playing with a play-doh ice cream set-
"Mommy, I just made you a sunny day with squirrel ice cream."

"Boys go to karate, girls go to ballet."

"I'm Thomas. Hop on board my freight cars. Oh wait, you're a passenger. You need to ride on Annie or Clarabelle."

"Somebody needs to give Daddy money so he can buy a truck."

"Daddies go to work and Mommies work on computers."

Passing by a lake-
Aidan: "I bet that river has sharks in it."
Me: "It's not a river. It's a lake. Rivers don't have sharks in them anyway."
Aidan: "It's a river. A big huge river. And it has sharks."
Me: "It's a lake."
Aidan: "That river is freaking me out."

Trevor: "Aidan, what day is it?"
Aidan: "Um,forty-six."
Trevor: "Not quite."
Aidan: "Oh. Three o'clock?"

Aidan retelling the story of Jesus walking on the water:
Aidan: "There were guys in a boat and there was a ghost walking on the water!"
Me: "Wasn't it Jesus and they thought it was a ghost?"
Aidan: "Jesus and a ghost were walking on the water."

Aidan retelling the story of Daniel:
"Some lions ate a guy."

Glad to know he's listening in Sunday School.

Every once in a while Aidan has a gem that rings true in my soul. This actually happened a couple of days ago. During the summer Aidan was involved in the Library's summer reading program. One of the weekly prizes he earned was a pair of cheap sunglasses. They are yellow with little fish all over them.

"These are my swimming glasses." He told me. "They have fish on them, and fish swim. So I should wear them when I swim."

"Actually," I answered, "They're sunglasses. You can wear them anytime. Even if you're not swimming."

Aidan's quite smitten with his grab bag sunglasses. He loves to wear them. Honestly, I think they're pretty cool, too. A couple of days ago he was wearing them in the house. He wanted to test their usefulness, so he threw the curtains open and stared fully at the sun.

"Mommy!" He yelled over at me, "These aren't working. I can still see the sun."

"Well, they're not supposed to make the sun disappear." I said. "They're supposed to protect your eyes from the sun. You can still see the sun, but it's not as bright and doesn't hurt your eyes."

As a pastor, I get asked "the question" about suffering quite often. "Why do we suffer? Doesn't God love us? Why doesn't he save us from our suffering?" Honestly, I don't always know quite how to answer it.

Now some people like to think their problems are equivalent to that of Job when their biggest dilemma is usually something like losing their favorite hair clip or Starbucks running out of Pumpkin Spice Scones (which are delicious, by the way). They had to settle for the gluten-free organic brownie (Speaking from experience, don't even waste your time). I'll let them know in short order that sometimes you just have to suffer for Jesus. Not really. But it would be funny.

But I do know people who have really been suffering. How do I find ways to encourage them without sounding like I'm trivializing what they're going through? How do we deal with suffering? First, I think it takes a change of perspective.

The church today has shifted towards a message of suffering=sin. If you're sick, if you're broke, if things are going wrong, you must not have your act together. God rewards those who are faithful to Him, so if you're suffering you must not have been proven faithful. We expect to receive an earthly reward instead of storing up our treasures in Heaven. Those who will admit they're suffering receive a sentence of awkward conversations and slow excommunication through accidental exclusion (we wouldn't want to be too obvious, would we?) from the body of believers. We need successful, happy people in our church so other people will want to come here.

We've turned God into our wish-granting genie instead of the powerful, sovereign God He is. I'm afraid that sometimes we paint Christianity as a religious joy ride instead of the sometimes difficult spiritual journey it really is.

When trouble comes, we're like my four year old with his sunglasses. He was expecting them to completely block out the sun, when that wasn't their purpose at all. "Isn't God supposed to take this trouble from my life? I thought he was supposed to bless me and heal me and take away my suffering and pain." But that's not really what God has in mind at all. We are expecting Him to block out the sin and pain and grief of living in this world, but God is offering us his protection to walk through it.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him.
For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague.
He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day,
nor dread the plague that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.
But you will see it with your eyes; you will see how the wicked are punished.
If you make the LORD your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter,
no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling.
For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone.
Psalm 91:1-12

God is offering his protection. He's saying "Everyone may be falling around you. You may feel surrounded and overwhelmed. But I will never leave you. I will surround you with my protection." We need to commit ourselves to Him. Our faithful Creator. He will wrap his arms of protection around us when we need it the most.

English Toffee Cappuccino

I made it through all of Bible college (or at least my version of "all of Bible college") without becoming addicted to coffee. I'm a coffee wuss. I know it's not a genetic malfunction. My parents' view point on coffee is more akin to that of a trucker: the darker and thicker the better. Kind of like the motor oil of my 1988 Chevy Cavalier. No sugar. No Equal. No creamer. Not even milk. Just coffee. I, on the other hand, like my coffee like I like my men: kind of beige-y in color and really sweet, with a hint of hazelnut (collectively now, awww... That one was for you, Trevor. Except the hazelnut part. I don't think that would translate well).

Okay, so I'm exaggerating when I talk about my parents' love of strong coffee. Actually, the last time my parents visited me, I tried to be the perfect hostess and make my parents a nice cup of joe. I had to go to the store and buy a coffeemaker because I did not own one. And filters. Can't forget filters. Those suckers run like, $4.97 nowadays. So I was doing something nice, but the way they responded you'd think I tried to poison them. (The moment happened just like a sitcom where someone blurts out something like "I'm pregnant with your child." or "I'm leaving you for your brother" or "That's not juice, it's a urine sample." And the philandering-yet-lovable protagonist of the show spews the beverage out of his mouth in utter surprise/shock/horror.) I'm pretty sure I put the right amount in according to the package instructions, but Mom had to add about 3/4 cup of water to drink it. Either my parents have gone soft, Maxwell House had a misprint, or tablespoons have gotten larger recently. Whatever the cause of the incident (I refer to it as "coffeegate") which did not involve error on my part whatsoever, the coffee was awful.

I'll tell you a place to get good coffee. Tim Horton's. It took me a while to get bitten by the Tim Horton's Bug. What is this place all about? Why is there no apostrophe in the restaurant name? Canadians. I know Tim Horton was a real person. And I know "Tim Horton's" is his coffee place, so why not the apostrophe? I shall use one anyway to stand up for grammar. I mean, people throw apostrophes around like they're free money nowadays. They use them in all situations that do not warrant the use of an apostrophe. Yet when an apostrophe is needed, it's mysteriously MIA. Making a word plural? No apostrophe. Making a word possessive? Apostrophe. Except in the case of it. Which is strange, but reasonable.

Tim Horton's has pretty good coffee. Not that I get the coffee. I get the English Toffee Cappuccino. I know. All they do is push a button on a cappuccino dispenser like they have at gas stations. But it's sweet, beige, and tastes good.

My main concern with buying hot beverages from Timmy's (cute and annoying at the same time!) is the wait period before I can drink it. My coffee wussery surpasses the flavor and sweetness of said beverage. I am also sensitive to the temperature. There is a small window (from 22 minutes to 26 minutes after purchase) that I must down my coffee in. (I know; I just went on about grammar and now I'm ending a sentence in a preposition. Would you rather I say "in which I must down my coffee?" I sound either snooty or British. Or both. Hmm.)

See, for me timing is everything when it comes to Timmy Ho's. If I drink too early, I burn my poor little defenseless tongue. If I drink it too late, I might as well have ordered an ice capp. I had a Tim Horton's beverage today and I pondered this phenomenon. (I like referring to my weaknesses as phenomena. Very empowering.)

I was thinking about how even good things at the wrong time can be bad. Two of the things that tick me off the most are stubbed toes and burnt tongues. Drink the coffee too early, you get a burnt tongue. Now when your coffee has cooled off a bit, it's still going to be painful to drink.

I've got a few friends who are going through a period of pain and waiting in their lives right now. I hate it. I find that if I don't be careful I become consumed with their suffering. I hate that I can't fix their problem. While I don't blame God, I get curious as to when exactly He's going to pull through for them.

Some of them are separated from people they love. A wall of bureaucratic red tape has been erected between husband and wife, fathers and daughters. I see people I love working with everything they have serving the Lord, yet they never catch a break. They're on the brink of giving up if something doesn't change soon. My heart breaks. My soul feels weary.

Then I remember the coffee. I think of my life. My darkest days when I wondered exactly what God was orchestrating in the mess around me. He had something good for me planned. He still does.

For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

But it had to be the right timing. If He gave it to me too soon, I would have gotten burned.

There's purpose in waiting. There's promise in waiting.

But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

For since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!
Isaiah 64:4

So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.
1 Peter 4:19

One version of the last verse says to "commit yourselves to a faithful creator." He will never fail you. He loves you too much to let you down.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible promises us this:

In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.
1 Peter 5:10

The suffering doesn't last forever. God promises after you have suffered a while, He will bring you restoration. He will bring you support. He will give you strength. Your foundation and faith in Him will be stronger because of your adversity.

Take heart. Be encouraged. Cast your cares on Him, because He cares for You. Wait on Him.

Ain't No Party Like a Lego Party

I am never renting another movie again. Not checking one out from a library. Not borrowing one from a neighbor. If I do not own said DVD, it will not be in my or my family's possession. I watched this one episode of Community where there was a monkey who would steal pens and other items and hide them, collecting them in a big pile in the school's heating duct. I am convinced that I also have a monkey (by the name of Aidan)in my home who has a penchant for DVDs, hiding them somewhere in the drop ceiling or in a secret hidden chamber located in the basement.

I wish I knew the location of that chamber because I could really use the extra storage space. Alas, it is hidden from my view. My question is this: Why does it have to be DVDs? How is it possible that I can check out 57 kids books from the library with nary a problem, but I borrow 1 Bob the Builder DVD and it slips away into oblivion? (sinking to my knees raising my arms in a questioning manner to God) Why? Why me? Why DVDs?

Why can't he lose Happy Meal toys? Or the rocks he insists on collecting every time we walk by a flower bed? I just know that as we speak the DVDs are partying it up with all of the Hot Wheels cars I've bought him over the past two years. I've probably gotten him 274 Hot Wheels cars, and I'll bet if I search really hard I could produce 17 to show for it. I know they're somewhere putting on a mini Brickyard 400 using the lost DVD cases as their track. I can see the lost Lego men of yesteryear (a few pirates, including the one with the peg leg, a knight or two, a fireman, and of course a special edition-Star Wars storm trooper and Luke Skywalker)cheering them on from the stands made of old washed-up Duplo blocks that have been thrown into storage. They're living the high life on my dime while I'm up to my neck in late-fees.

Trevor just spent the past two hours scouring the house looking for Cars. Of all movies to lose. The one that we've already purchased at least twice (maybe three times?) because it's Aidan's favorite movie. The one that, if I weren't such a devout Christian, I would have saved on our computer to burn extra copies so I wouldn't be in this mess. This little war I'm involved in is just getting downright insulting. Now all three of Aidan's Cars movies (in both wide screen and full screen editions)are in cahoots.

I'm going to give them a couple of days. Pretend I don't care if I find them. They're going to have to come out for fresh air and rations eventually. Then, I'll be ready for them. They won't know what hit them.

Now it's not even about finding the movie. Now it's a matter of principle. I'm stubborn. I'm not going to give up until I either find it or I get really really tired. Or hungry. Or bored. Or find something better to do.

Ah yes, that sounds more like the truth. It's amazing how quickly our tenacity gets drained from us when things get wearisome. We're so easily discouraged and quickly give up on what we should fight the hardest for.

I've been thinking about how many times I hear people saying they wish they had a closer relationship with God. I've uttered those words myself more times than I can count. I've realized that knowing God and developing a deeper relationship with Him takes time. It takes work. And frankly, a lot of us get too lazy and impatient to see real results.

It's not a matter of whether or not God will reveal Himself to us. It's not a guessing game of whether or not He will show up. He's already made His promise.

In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me.
Jeremiah 29:12-13

Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.
James 4:8

The LORD is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him.
Lamentations 3:25

God's given us His word that when we seek Him, we will find Him. It sounds like He's waiting for us. Waiting for us to what?

For one, I think He's waiting for us to seek Him earnestly. Notice it doesn't say "seek me halfheartedly." It says "If you look for me in earnest."
Earnest-Marked by or showing deep sincerity or seriousness God wants us to take Him seriously. He's our top priority. Not a once-a-week commitment. Not something to be put on the back burner.

Also, I think sometimes we need to come to him and repent of our sins. We need to come to Him and allow Him to make our hearts pure, so that we may commune with Him.

Who may climb the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies.
They will receive the LORD's blessing and have right standing with God their savior.
They alone may enter God's presence and worship the God of Israel.
Psalm 24:3-6

The high and lofty one who inhabits eternity, the Holy One, says this: "I live in that high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts.
Isaiah 57:15

Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites.
James 4:8

I will strive to seek God more than the trinkets of this world. (even lost DVDs) Let us boldly approach the throne of grace because of our redemption through Christ Jesus our Lord.

How do I love?

I know this isn't how I usually post. Usually I have a little anecdote to share, but not today. There's been a question on my mind that has just been wrecking me lately. How do I love? I am trying to figure out how to love. How to love like Christ loves us. How to live out His love. To not be filled with envy, strife, bitterness. That my first reaction would not be to judge but instead to extend grace. Not expecting people to clean themselves up before I accept them. Not setting standards for people that I myself can't meet.

I want to feel the pain of my neighbors. I want my heart to break for them in their distress. Throw away the barriers of protection I have built up around my life that keeps me a safe distance from others around me. Re-sensitize myself to the suffering of God's children. Created in His image. I want to be able to rejoice when others rejoice. Not feel envious or jealous of their circumstances, but to wholeheartedly rejoice with them.

I want to show the city around me, full of hurting, dying people that the love of God is real. It's so real you can feel it. It's probably not going to happen when I'm leading worship, preaching, or writing a blog entry. It's going to happen when I live. How can the love of God be more evident in me? How can we show the truth to those who are desperate for something real to cling to?

How do we feel? How do we feel?
My Generation is aching for real
Dying for love, crying for truth
My Generation is aching for You
Starfield "My Generation"

Truth or Dare

So I hit a roadblock in my year-long Bible reading. I ran into the begats already. I don't remember there being a lot of genealogy in Genesis. It jumped out at me like a moose on a cold dark night while driving through the Pine Pass. I wasn't expecting it. Here I am, psyching myself up for Numbers and bam! Out of the clear blue sky God drops a big list of begats right in my lap. In Genesis of all places!

It's like someone's taunting me. (I won't say God, because that would be sacrilegious) "How are you going to make this apply? I dare you to write a blog post about genealogy!" Well, I never turn down a dare.

That's not true. I always turn down dares. I'm the biggest scaredy cat in the world. When we play truth or dare, I always go with truth. Always. Even with all the embarrassing things that have happened to me in my life time. Always go with truth. Dare? I think not. I don't want to run around outside in my underwear. I don't want to eat four raw eggs. Or a live goldfish. I'm not going to lick the road, jump off a building, or knock on my neighbor's door to ask for toilet paper. I'm just not into dares. Someone always gets hurt.

I've hurt myself enough in my life without doing something (really) stupid. I've broken my arm, dislocated my hip, ruptured a disk in my back, gotten shot by a bb gun (ok, that one was pretty stupid), gotten electrocuted (like, really electrocuted. None of this "fork in a socket" electrocuted. But that's a story for another day. And it wasn't my fault. Stupid hotel door.), gotten stitches in my knee, had a nail go through my foot, got stepped on by a horse, and other numerous bumps and bruises that aren't coming to mind right now. Probably because of numerous head injuries. Just kidding, my noggin has always remained safe and sound. See, I don't need to provide opportunities to get injured. These opportunities manifest themselves in my life already.

However, if you challenge me on an intellectual level, I will probably not be able to back down. I like to pretend that I'm really smart. I don't want everyone to find out that it's just a facade. So, if you challenge me by saying "I bet you can't find an applicable message from a genealogical list in the Old Testament" I will say "challenge accepted."

Being pregnant is a love/hate experience. Morning sickness? I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how awful it is. Decorating a nursery? Awesome! One of my favorite parts about being pregnant is scouring baby names. There's like a million baby name websites online now. My favorite is Nymbler. You give them some names that you like, and it gives you a whole bunch more based on your preferences. It's like a baby name game show! Seriously. You should check it out. You can waste a whole afternoon on that site.

Some people love using Biblical names for their offspring. I'm all for this. Especially if you go the extra mile and dig deep for your Biblical name. Who knew Jared and Kenan were Bible names? They sound pretty circa 1990's to me, but what do I know? Skip over the oft used names like John, Elizabeth, and Jacob. Here are my top suggestions for Bible Names (you probably won't find these on Nymbler):

Ashkenaz- Kind of has a ring to it. Sounds like a basketball player's name- Ashkenaz Olajuwon.

Put- you probably won't have to worry about anyone misspelling this one.

Zurishaddai- Seriously. Just say this name. It's all kinds of ballin'. It sounds even cooler if you whisper it.

Mushi- as in "I like my bananas mushi."

Arphaxad- Sounds like a heartburn medicine. "Honey, my reflux is acting up." "Well, go take an Arphaxad."

One Bible name I don't suggest? Nimrod. That's right. Nimrod. It was once a regal name; synonymous with bravery, might, heroism.

One of Cush's descendants was Nimrod, who became a heroic warrior.
He was a mighty hunter in the LORD's sight. His name became proverbial, and people would speak of someone as being "like Nimrod, a mighty hunter in the LORD's sight."
Genesis 10:8&9

Wow, what an honor. When someone did something brave, their friends would say "they just pulled a Nimrod." It's like when I sing a crazy high solo in church people say "Elizabeth just pulled a Beyonce." Actually, I'm pretty sure when Beyonce sings people say "Beyonce just pulled an Elizabeth." But that's besides the point. Nimrod was a legend. The Bible said he "became proverbial."

When I saw this I kind of laughed to myself because I was thinking of the way we use the word Nimrod nowadays. Today's definition of Nimrod? A person regarded as silly, foolish, or stupid. Believe it or not, this usage became popular when used by Bugs Bunny to mock Elmer Fudd. Nimrod's legacy was marred by a cartoon bunny!

So, of course this got me thinking. How much weight do we put in others' opinions of who we are? Especially in a society who has a shorter attention span than my four year old son, popular opinion rises and falls like a stormy sea. I'm not saying that we should throw the baby out with the bathwater; if everyone really can't stand you, you might be doing a little something wrong. It may be time for a little self-evaluating.

But sometimes we need to let go of what others think and grasp what is important. When I was learning to drive, I would always get rattled by the person behind me. Of course I was driving carefully, going the speed limit, so the crazy person behind me wasn't too pleased. I could see them in my rear view mirror swerving all over, tailgating, and acting a fool. It would just get me flustered. My dad would tell me to not worry about the person in the rear view. He told me to focus on what was important- what was in front of me.

See, we always have the people in our lives that are constantly spewing negativity in our direction. No matter how you drive, it'll never be good enough. You see them in your rear view- criticizing your every move, using threatening fear-inducing tactics to try to force you to do things their way. But that's exactly why we need to let go of trying to please everyone. Trying to make everyone completely satisfied with us. Focus on your priorities. What's in front of you? What are your surroundings? Don't lose sight of your destination because of what's in your rear view. You'll end up crashing and burning worrying about what's behind you- what you have no control over.

People may love you today, but your legacy will one day fade away. Twenty years from now a cartoon rabbit robot(everything's robot in the future) will be flying around in its car (everyone knows that you have to include flying cars in any mention of the future) mocking our legacy. But what matters in the end? One day the memory of who we were will grow dimmer and dimmer until it passes away. But what remains?

"The grass withers, and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the LORD. And so it is with people.
The grass withers, and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever."
Isaiah 40:7&8

One day all that surrounds us will fade away. But the word of God stands forever. It's HIS legacy that remains. So why do we waste time honoring our legacy? Instead, may everything we do point to Him. The glory we give Him is eternal. If our lives point towards Him, others will see and come to know Him. That produces eternal results.

If one hundred years from now I haven't been cryogenically frozen and resuscitated once medicine has found a way to keep me alive longer, no one will probably remember my name. No one's going to remember me as a mighty, courageous warrior. And it doesn't really matter. I want to live to serve my king. To love my God and the people I come in contact with. Storing up my treasures in Heaven. That's the legacy I want to leave.

Infectious Skin Diseases, Wild Birds, and House-Invading Mildew. This PSA brought to you by Leviticus

So, my husband has been super excited about our church doing a "read through the Bible in a Year" program. You know the one I'm talking about, right? It gives you so many chapters to read each day so by the end of the year you will hopefully be finishing up Revelation. We have our little bookmarks so we don't get off track- we're ready to go. Thank goodness that we're doing a blended program where we skip around and not going straight through the Old Testament. As gung-ho as I am at the beginning of the year, I always run out of gas right around Leviticus chapter fourteen.

No offense, Leviticus. It's just that I'm not a priest and all, and while contagious skin diseases sound like they would be fun to read about, they're not. (I lied. They actually are. I just read Leviticus 14 as a reference point and I couldn't put it down. Bible 1, Elizabeth 0.) All I'm saying is I'm glad that today's pastors don't exactly follow the same priestly guidelines as the Old Testament. If someone had a contagious skin disease, I don't want to be the one to check to make sure it's all healed up. Paging Dr. Oz. You see this dude's skin rash? Yeah, that's your territory Doc. Want to know what I'm talking about? Go ahead and read Leviticus fourteen. It also broaches the subject of infectious mildew in the home. Let me just say the cleansing process includes the blood of wild birds. It's a real page turner.

"Through the Bible in a Year" programs always makes me think of my days in Bible college. I look back at my time in Bible college fondly. For the most part. The Bible reading program wasn't one of my strong points. It's not that I have anything against the Bible (obviously), I just wasn't fantastic at reading it according to a schedule for a grade. (Or a mark, for all of you Canadians.) It would be two days before the end of the semester and I would be in Psalms. What? I was supposed to be done with Jeremiah by now? Great. I guess we're going with the Bible on CD while I'm sleeping.

I still remember that week in June like it was yesterday. I had a horrible cold. Bad. Bad Cold. I drank a gallon of Neo-Citran (thera-flu for all you Americans). Canadians have crazy cold medicine. It makes you all loopy and you start thinking everything is funny. We took a break from our studies and headed out for Slurpees/Frosters (whatever you want to call the disgusting partially frozen beverages only teenagers buy) from our local gas station. While we were there I thought it would be funny to buy a hair net. Not that funny. But it is when you take Neo-Citran. And since I was at a gas station, I paid like, 5 times what I should have paid for it. Like laundry soap, some things you don't buy at gas stations. Actually, most things you don't buy at gas stations. Like, basically everything. Just don't shop at gas stations.

As I headed back to the dorm I donned my new purchase and vowed to finish Isaiah by daybreak. I asked a friend of mine to play some music on her computer while we were studying, but she didn't have any, so we ended up listening to those free songs that come with your computer. You know what I'm talking about, right? If you open up Media Player there's Beethoven's fifth, some Celtic song, and a few other choice picks. A song that sounded like an ancient Chinese ballad started playing, and I felt inspired to start quoting the Psalms I was reading. It went something like this:

(Cue dark, dissonant chord strummed on a traditional Chinese instrument, perhaps a Pipa or Ruan-)

Me, in my most dramatic voice:
O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your rage.
Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak.
Heal me, Lord, for my body is in agony.
(Another dramatic chord on the instruments)

Me, sobbing:
I am worn out from sobbing.
Every night tears drench my bed;
my pillow is wet from weeping.
My vision is blurred by grief;
my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.
(Brief musical interlude)

Me, shaking my fist in the air at the unnamed evil ones:
Go away, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my crying.
The Lord has heard my plea;
the Lord will answer my prayer.
May all my enemies be disgraced and terrified.
May they suddenly turn back in shame.
Psalm 6

I'm pretty sure I passed out somewhere around this point and woke up at 8 the next morning sleeping on an old couch in the basement of the girls' dorm with my Bible on the floor by my side and a hairnet over my eyes. Where did this hairnet come from?

Not my finest moment. Needless to say, I'm still working through a little PTSD from past Bible Reading programs. But this time will be different. I will succeed! Because I have a blog! And I can kill two birds with one stone (no pun intended, see previous mention of Leviticus 14), and share some of my insights from my daily Bible reading with you right here.

Right now we're reading through Genesis and Romans. Romans is one of my favorite books. More like the second half, but today I've gained more appreciation for the first few chapters. I decided to read the Bible in New Living Translation this time, because it's helped open my eyes to see scriptures that I am familiar with in a different way. I really love how the NLT translates Paul's epistles. I think it really captures the spirit of what Paul is teaching.

So Paul starts Romans off with a bang talking about how God hates sin, and that even those who haven't heard the truth of who God is naturally knows when they are doing wrong. We were created that way. He's listed different ways people live in their sin because they have refused the truth of the message of Jesus Christ. Now, the recipients of this message are the Jewish Christians living in Rome. You can just see the people, the "church" who has received this message being like, "mmhmm. Those sinners are so messed up. I'm so glad that we aren't like them. We have got our act together. For real."

Then Paul pulls out the big guns at the beginning of chapter two:

You may be saying, "What terrible people you have been talking about!" But you are just as bad, and you have no excuse!
Romans 2:1

Oh, snap. He called them out.

When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things. And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things.
Romans 2:1-2

When I read this, I started thinking about myself. I started thinking about the church. Paul caught my attention on this one. We're so focused on the sin of those in the world, yet we're wallowing in our own filthy sin here as well. How many times have we heard "The world is just so sinful nowadays. Look how people dress. Look how people act. They're just full of sin." What about you? How's your heart? Full of judgment? Bitterness? They have some inkling that what they are doing is wrong, but we KNOW for sure that we are wrong. We have God's word to tell us. We have the Holy Spirit speaking to our hearts correcting us.

In my last post I talked about the correction of God. He will speak to us about things we need to change. He will offer us correction and guidance. But we must react to that. He expects us to. He patiently guides us and works with us in our weakness, but He expects change. He expects growth. He doesn't expect us to stay in our sin.

Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?
Romans 2:4

God has shown us His kindness and mercy through his gentle correction. How will you respond? Will you ignore his voice and turn away from his discipline? Or will you allow Him to create in you a clean heart, one that is pleasing to Him?

Only a fool despises a parent's discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise.
Proverbs 15:5

When the Ball Drops

Oh New Year's, what a love hate relationship we have. Such anticipation, such expectations, such a let down. My best New Year's Eve? When my son was born. My worst? All the other ones. US Weekly tells me that I should dress in something sparkly, use their guide for the perfect New Year's Eve hairdo, glue on some false eyelashes, and dance the night away. Sounds like fun, right? Let me let you in on a little secret. It never happens that way. Unless your name is Kim Kardashian (Kim, if you're reading this- Hey girl, let's get together some time), you will probably be disappointed with your New Year's Eve experience. Hey, I'm open to someone proving me wrong, but chances are your evening rates somewhere between cleaning out the old messages in your email account and watching a "Deadliest Catch" marathon. Spoiler Alert: They catch crabs.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't try, I'm just saying most New Year's Eve extravaganzas end up as a dismal failure. In honor of this wretched non-holiday which stores use as an excuse to close at 4 p.m. (here's looking at you, Dollar Store), I will list some of my most memorable New Year's Eve memories...

1994-1997- I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure most of these years we celebrated New Year's as a family playing Canasta. Yeah, we're pretty cool. No, Canasta isn't an old lady game.

1998- officially the coolest New Year's for me. I was in 8th grade, and went to a Nazarene Youth all nighter with my bestie. We bowled, ice skated,(yikes- a bunch of Texans trying to ice skate), and went to a concert. I don't remember much about the concert except there was a band that had a keytar, and one band was called "Animal Couch." Really? Best band name ever. I wore cool jeans with black stripes down the side.

2000- Can't forget the millennium... or can I? We watched Austin Powers and drank sparkling grape juice. I'm such a rebel.

2003- I took my brother's then-girlfriend (now wife) who was visiting on a tour to a nearby town. While we were in a store a blizzard hit. Cue panicked drive back home using mailboxes as road markers.

2005- My first New Year's with Trevor. We went to White Rock with friends and drank Raspberry Ginger ale from a two liter. Romantic.

2009- Drove around town trying to find a restaurant to have Aidan's birthday dinner. Ended up celebrating in McDonald's. Aidan didn't seem to mind. The McD's employees brought him a bunch of happy meal toys.

2006- Spent it in a hospital. Mr. Aidan finally graced us with his presence- right on time. I needed the tax deduction.

I've now accepted the fact that until Aidan is too cool for us, we will spend New Year's Eve celebrating his birthday. And you know what? It's produced some of the best New Year's celebrations I've had. Last night I made homemade mac n cheese and we ate popcorn and watched his favorite movies all night. I went to bed before midnight and didn't feel like I missed anything. I did still wear false eyelashes, though. I can't let myself go completely. I have to admit, they did look a bit out of place.

So now it's January 1, 2011. A bright white clean slate. Judging by the amount of Facebook status updates (I've got my finger on the pulse of the people), it's resolution time. You have to have new year's resolutions. Next time someone asks you what your resolutions are tell them, "I have no resolutions." See the look of stunned horror on their faces? People don't know how to deal with that. You have to have resolutions.

My issue is this: Why must we make our resolutions so unattainable? Lose 100 pounds? Not likely. Unless your name is Jared and you're going on a Subway diet. Score an invite to Wills and Kate's wedding? Keep dreaming. Never drink pop again? I don't know... caffeine is very addictive. People who have little caffeine intake are crabby. Fit into your skinny jeans from grade ten? Who are you kidding? Donate them to the Salvation Army. Some guy in an emo band is missing out right now because you're holding onto those. We need to aim lower. Strive for mediocrity. How about some attainable new year's resolutions for once? Here's a proposed list of attainable New Year's resolutions. Feel free to use these in conversation when you are inevitably asked what your goals are for the year.

"I'm going to start working out at the gym daily during the month of January, and kind of curtail my visits after that point. Kind of maintain, you know?"

"I'm going to limit my McDonald's trips to once a week or so." (or so gives you a little wiggle room)

"I'm going to keep my yearly weight gain between 5-10 pounds."

"I'm going to try to read more. I'll start with People magazine and work my way to OK and Us Weekly. And Elizabeth's blog. That stuff is entertaining, yet informative."

"I'm going to try not to go to jail."

"I will do something nice for someone once a week."

See? Totally reasonable goals. Because failing really stinks. I know you're probably one of those people that have an inspirational poster of a man climbing a mountain with a saying like, "The only real failure in life is the failure to try." hanging on your bedroom wall, but we all know that's a bunch of hullabaloo. Failure isn't fun. It hurts. It's hard to take chances. Especially if you've been there before and fell flat on your face.

When I was a kid I couldn't do cartwheels. I tried once, but I couldn't do it. I felt like an idiot, so I never tried it again. I had some pretty good excuses, but really I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do one. I hate the feeling failure. I was a clumsy kid and would always break things. I tried really hard, but the more I tried the worse I got. I would get so mad at myself. And even now, I try so hard to be perfect. But I just keep screwing it up.

This morning I was thinking about how I always watch the ball drop in New York on New Year's. Every year I resolve this is the year that I will fix all of my faults, but I end up dropping the ball, too. And I'll be honest, I don't know how to deal with that. How can we deal with our failures the way God would want us to instead of just beating ourselves up? How do we grow in Christ and bear fruit, instead of taking one step forward, two steps back?

First of all, we need to recognize the difference between condemnation and correction. The enemy knows that we can waste a lot of time beating ourselves up when we're wrapped up in condemnation. But, condemnation is not of God.

[There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Romans 8:1

I spend so much time and energy beating myself up for my failures, instead of focusing on living a life empowered by His Holy Spirit.

We also need to accept God's discipline and correction.

And have you entirely forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you, his children? He said, "My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes those he accepts as his children."
Hebrews 12:5-6

I love this. Don't be discouraged when he corrects you. We become so discouraged because we don't realize that his discipline is an investment in our lives. I believe God wants us to rely on Him to be our strength. He wants our lives to be filled with His Spirit so that we are empowered to live a life pleasing to Him.

So, when people ask me what my resolution is, I'm going to tell them to read Ephesians 3. I want my life to be deeply rooted in the love of Christ. That I may be given inner strength through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
Ephesians 3:16-20