Grown Ups

Aidan crawled under the covers with me early this morning before Ainsley was awake.  That in itself was quite the feat.  We tiptoe by Ainsley's room like you would a shallow cave harboring a sleeping monster that would be featured in an Ancient Greek saga.  She sleeps lightly and is quite the grumpaloo if awakened before her body's clock tells her it's time to get up. I have no idea where she gets that from.

Aidan stealthily makes his way to my room and asks for a cuddle.  My little boy is quite the big boy nowadays.  He is a full fledged kindergartener and can take care of himself, thankyouverymuch. But, he still likes to cuddle. And I love it!

He knows the edict of cuddling in the Birak household: talking is allowed during day cuddles, but not night cuddles.  I know that sounds harsh, but he would NEVER go to sleep if he got to lay in bed and shoot the breeze with us every night.

He jumps under the fluffy covers, lays his head next to mine on my pillow, curls up in a ball and starts talking. We discuss school; how he's learning his letters and the days of creation.  He tells me that he can't wait until day five, because "we're going to learn about the birds and fish, and all things that live in the water and sky."  Since when did my kid sound like a walking New International Version? 

Then, being quite the philosopher he busts out this big one:"Mommy, why does it take so long to grow up?" See, after he completed a few days of Kindergarten, Aidan decided he was fully ready to move up to grade one.  I informed him that it would be a whole year before he was in grade one.

He desperately wants to be in a grade that is associated with a number, so we started calling Kindergarten "grade zero" in our house. 


I thought of when I was a little kid and was desperate to grow up.  Now as an adult, I desperately want my children not to.

Often I find myself looking inward and realizing that I'm taking too long to grow up.   There's a frustration that wells up in my heart when I see myself and how little I've grown in some areas.   As a pastor, I have that same frustration when I see those who I try to minister to struggle as well.

Where is our hunger for growth? Why are we content to weakly swallow the milk when we should be digging into the solid food?  We blithely waste our days entertaining ourselves instead of straining for knowledge and maturity in the Spirit.

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God's word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food.

For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn't know how to do what is right.


Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.

Hebrews 5:12-14

The writer of Hebrews says in verse eleven: "There's so much more I want to explain, but you are too spiritually dumb and don't care enough to listen!" (Elizabeth's paraphrase)  How much are we missing out on because we aren't eager to listen and understand?  Because we are not ready to grow?

I do believe that there's something in us, though, that is drawing us to more.  The embers of desire lay dormant in us begging to be rekindled.  I can feel the dissatisfaction that calls me out of my slumber to search for more.