I'm not talking about the simple burn. I'm talking about those cutting remarks that leave your soul in a pile of ash. The ones that cut you to pieces like you're the Easter ham. The simple truths that you like to pretend no one knows about but you, but then a kid blurts it out and you think to yourself, "if they know, everyone else must know, too." gulp.
They say things like "You smell like dirty socks." Or, "That green dress makes you look like a big broccoli." Or, "You can't drive us to the store. You don't even have your driver's license." Or, "You need to take a shower." Or, "You're bad at that. Does that mean you're a loser?" (I may or may not have been told these things by my four year old.)
Small, seemingly defenseless children have a way of twisting the dagger deep into the heart. They have no concept of social niceties. They have no idea the power their words hold.
I was reminded about this the other day when Aidan and I were discussing super heroes. We don't watch much TV in our house, and one of the main reasons isn't because we feel like we're better than everyone, it's just that our son is incredibly sensitive to visual images. He doesn't want anything to do with anything dark, sinister, or violent. To a point where all he watches are shows like Diego, Dora, and Bob the Builder.
So, we aren't really up on the super hero circle. Most of his friends are, however. So he is vaguely familiar with them. And that's probably why he butchers their names. My favorite one is "Fatman."
The dark knight fighting the seedy underbelly of Gotham City while trying to fight his own belly as well. He had to head to the Big and Tall store to up-size his batsuit. He started having to take public transit because he can no longer fit inside the Batmobile.
Soon he'll get a job endorsing weight watchers or perhaps peddling delicious submarine sandwiches with 6 grams of fat or less.
I can just imagine the fit Christian Bale would throw if he could hear that one. And when I imagine Michael Keaton as a Ken doll, I don't think he'd be very pleased, either.
No matter how many times we try to correct him, Aidan insists, "No, it's Fatman and Robin."
Adam West must be rolling over in his grave. Wait. Is Adam West even dead? If not: sorry, man.
I've noticed adults do this more than we care to admit as well. I can't even number the amount of times I've said something stupid and hurtful and immediately wished I could take those words back.
What's really gotten me is the times that I didn't even realize I said something that could hurt someone. Oh, it's happened. Even with the purest intentions, I've made mistakes and said hurtful things to people that I didn't really mean.
And it sucked.
So as I teach my son to be aware of the power of his words, I'm teaching myself to do the same.
Evaluate what's coming out of your mouth. "Does what I'm saying have the potential to cause damage in another person?"
You just might save yourself a world of hurt. And you'll probably save someone else a world of hurt, too.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21
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