It was the first time we had reached a level of exhaustion that made us delusional enough to think that it was possible to take a one year old and a four year old camping without completely losing the little bit of sanity we were desperately clinging to.
In case you're considering a similar trip, let me be the one to tell you that it is not.
And all of our friends were like, "Oh, how fun!" "Have a great time!" "You can borrow my tent!" "Bears don't like the flavor of people!"
I felt like that friend you have who is dating the total jerk but no one has the guts to tell her that her prince charming is a loser. (If people are saying things like, "He's not as bad as that last guy." or "He has a puppy. So he can't be a total psychopath. Psychopaths don't like puppies." - you are that friend.)
I wish someone would have smacked me upside the head and said, "are you INSANE?" Or something like that.
My suspicions were confirmed when we got back and everyone at Trevor's work wanted to know how Ainsley handled the camping trip. Like they had a betting pool about it or something.
We probably should have spent the weekend in a motel. One that serves complimentary hot breakfasts, has a mini fridge and microwave in the room for Easy Mac, and has a water slide and shampoo that smells like cinnamon. Really. It's like Christmas every time you shower.
But no. We went camping. In the mud. In the rain. Hanging out with the mosquitoes. And apparently one bold cougar. Awesome.
Actually, camping was a lot of fun. I loved becoming one with my inner Laura Ingalls Wilder by sleeping on the ground and hauling water to boil on a camp stove just to wash dishes.
There was one major downfall. Besides my husband leaving the hatchet on the ground EVERYWHERE.
Mud.
Lots and lots of mud.
Do you know how hard it is to clean a one year old in a campground bathroom? We were actually doing okay until I underestimated the amount of water Ainsley would displace when sitting in the bathroom sink.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Our kids took to camping like flies take to cow poop.
They were all over it. Couldn't get enough of it. I couldn't even try to compete with the whirlwind of destruction and dirt that enveloped them. I mean, Ainsley had bark. in her poop.
It was really bad when Aidan figured out this simple equation:
Dirt + Water = Mud.
As soon as we would get their mud infested bodies sparkling clean and back to our campsite they would discover a new way to turn themselves into the swamp thing.
Not that I was faring much better myself. I reeked of campfire smoke and Off Skintastic. The dirt and pine needles from the ground looked like they had permanently bonded with the soles of my feet, never to be parted again.
It seems like you just can't get away from being filthy while camping. I had that glorious five minute break from the filth while taking a shower, but it seemed pointless as soon as I donned my dusty flip flops and headed back to our tent.
I'm not prissy, but I also don't like to stink. And this was downright discouraging.
But even more discouraging was I realized this experience mirrored the frustration I'm dealing with in my own life.
I've been acutely aware of my failures as of late. It's something I constantly battle with.
I feel like my moments of redemption don't last long compared to living in the filth and dirt of the shortfalls and failures in my life.
Sometimes it all seems futile. I'm just going to get messed up again. It seems as soon as I accept the redemptive powers of God's grace I screw it up somehow. Why bother?
Like the people of Israel:
We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.
Isaiah 64:6
I've come to realize that I've been depending on my own righteousness. Trying to redeem myself on my own. Not willing to fully embrace God's simple gift of grace while I preach it to others.
Yet my righteousness is a disgust. I'm literally wading in my own filth when trying to gain righteousness on my own.
I roll around in that miry pit because for some reason I can't accept the reality of the simplicity of God's love. I write about it. I tell everyone else about it. Yet I deny it for myself.
But I think I'm starting to get it.
We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard.
Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.
Romans 3:22-24
For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God's wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.
Yes, Adam's one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ's one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.
Romans 5:17-18
